alvie's guide to transformers media

*based on experience, so it won't have everything

 

 

             top picks:

~ bumblebee (2018)

~ transformers: animated

~ earthspark

~ rescue bots

 

             recommended starting points based on priorities:

darker or more serious content -> transformers: prime and exodus, idw comics

political intrigue and worldbuilding -> exodus, idw comics

quality characters and writing -> bumblebee movie, rescue bots

cute, lighthearted, or fluffy content -> rescue bots, bumblebee movie, earthspark

understanding the franchise as a whole -> G1, tfwiki.com

 

 

BUMBLEBEE - movie A screenshot of a live-action movie. A girl with wavy brown hair is patted on the head by a large yellow robot with blue eyes.

edgy factor: 4/10. graphic robot violence makes some appearances but the main story is pretty wholesome

quality of writing: 9/10. refreshing and emotionally compelling. characters have clear arcs and developed relationships

personal enjoyment: 10/10

+ A nice mix of action and character-driven writing

+ Set in the 80

+ Follows an amnesiac and mute Bumblebee trying to survive as the only Autobot on earth, and Charlie Watson, a teenage girl struggling after the loss of someone important to her

+ Switches between a teenage coming-of-age story and action movie surprisingly well

 

TRANSFORMERS: PRIME - TV show A screenshot of Optimus Prime. He is rendered in 3D with particularly shiny metal textures. He is looking up and to the side, towards the camera. His expression is grim and his battle mask is closed.

edgy factor: 8/10. lots of corpse desecration, murder, and poorly hidden drug allegories

quality of writing: 6/10. i found it intriguing but lacking in certain places

personal enjoyment: 7/10. gave me lots of fanfic fodder but also made me put on my “i can fix her” hat

+ They put their whole pussy into rendering the metal in this show

+ They also do an amazing job at showing the sheer size of these titans--the ground shakes, the camera often sits at human eye level for effect, and we see humans and Cybertronians physically interact

+ Lots of hints of character arcs or depth, but many feel unexplored or too-shallowly explored for my taste; but what they do show is intriguing, and there’s always fanfiction

+ Pretty good, all things considered

+ Part of the Aligned continuity

 

TRANSFORMERS: EXODUS - novel

edgy factor: 7/10. cybertron’s intense political issues are explored but in a slightly shallow and definitely centrist way, imo

quality of writing: 5/10

personal enjoyment: 3/10. my “i can fix her” hat was on by page 1

+ Part of the Aligned continuity, the same as Prime

+ Shows how the war began back on Cybertron, and Optimus & Megatron’s past together

 

TRANSFORMERS: RESCUE BOTS - TV show

edgy factor: 1/10. the war is generally avoided as a topic, and the subject matter is intended for younger kids.

quality of writing: 9/10. very internally consistent, with loveable characters and memorable arcs. tonally consistent.

personal enjoyment: 10/10. though it's much less violent and political than some other transformers media, the characters are a joy to watch and i’ve overall found myself treating this show like MLP:FiM in the sense that i keep coming back to rewatch episodes, especially when i want to relax.

A screenshot of a 2D animated cartoon showing two Transformers standing next to each other. One is yellow and black with no mouth, and the other is orange and white.

+ Follows four Cybertronian rescue/emergency services workers who have been in stasis since before the war and crash-landed on Earth

+ The bots befriend a family of human rescue workers and end up protecting their island town together, while the bots pretend to be non-sentient machines. Each bot has a human partner working in a similar field as their old jobs

+ Part of the Aligned continuity, occasionally has crossovers with Prime or RID

 

TRANSFORMERS: ROBOTS IN DISGUISE (2015) - TV show

edgy factor: N/A

quality of writing: N/A

personal enjoyment: 0/10 i couldn’t watch more than three episodes so i can’t even give you the proper stats

+ Aligned AGAIN A screenshot of a cell-shaded 3D animated cartoon showing a black and green Transformer with a yellow faceplate and yellow biolights. He is very bulky, and he is smiling softly.

+ Takes place after Prime

+ Animation sucks

+ Writing is boring

+ The only good thing about this show is their Grimlock. We stan RID Grimlock

+ Maybe it's ok if you’re 5 years old and don’t know any better but I am 19 and I do know better. Don’t watch this show

 

TRANSFORMERS: ANIMATED - TV show

Two 2D animated Transformers of a similar size and build. They both have dramatic and energetic poses. One is blue and clasps his hands together while swooning. The other is orange and leans towards the camera with outstretched arms and open hands.edgy factor: 3/10. there are some heavier subjects, like PTSD, but they’re handled respectfully and integrate nicely into an otherwise lighthearted show.

quality of writing: 7/10. though it's definitely a kids show, it handles sensitive subjects well, and when this show wants you to cry, you will cry.

personal enjoyment: 8/10. some episodes were a bit slow or boring to me, but the juicy bits made up for it.

+ They took some daring departures from previously established canon, but made it work really well

+ Personally, I find the 2000s-era-superhero-show vibes endearing and nostalgic

+ The highly emotive and exaggerated, squish-and-stretch movements are an interesting choice for a show about robots, one I haven’t seen done before or since, and personally I really like it

+ EVERY ROBOT TRANSFORMATION IS A MAGICAL GIRL TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE AND THIS IS ONE OF TFA’S MANY STRENGTHS. IF YOU WON’T WATCH IT, AT LEAST LET ME SHOW YOU THE MAGICAL GIRL TRANSFORMATIONS

+ They also gave Optimus Prime dick-sucking lips and a catboy silhouette so do what you will with that

 

BAYVERSE TRANSFORMERS (TRANSFORMERS, REVENGE OF THE FALLEN, DARK OF THE MOON, AGE OF EXTINCTION, THE LAST KNIGHT) - film series A live-action, realistically 3D rendered Optimus Prime. His design is extremely complicated and made up of small moving parts. He is flexing his arms and pushing his chest out in a 'macho' pose that shows off his tits. He appears to be in some sort of disaster zone or post-apocalyptic wasteland.

edgy factor: 5/10. in a very childish way, they’re all punch and kill woooww explosion, so badass

quality of writing: -5/10

personal enjoyment: 0/10. could not finish

+ Truly the worst work I have seen from Michael Bay

+ Littered with sexism, poorly written on every front, and with terrible character designs that hurt your eyes. Also mind-numbingly boring to watch

+ I’ve yet to see a single Bayverse TF movie where Bumblebee doesn’t piss on somebody, so take that how you will--I personally believe Mr. Bay has a poorly hidden fetish

+ I could only get through 1.5 of these movies before I physically could not anymore, and I’m a rabid completionist

+ Just dont

 

TRANSFORMERS: EARTHSPARK - TV show

edgy factor: 1-5/10. depends on your definition of edgy. the show’s main relationships are very wholesome, but the encroaching threat is a very obvious parallel to racism and anti-immigrant attitudes, and can get fairly dark if you think of it that way.

quality of writing: 6/10. varies throughout the series. earlier episodes are very good, but the last few in the season fall quite short and may have been affected by the writer’s strike.

personal enjoyment: 9/10. though the season finale lacked a bit, i became very attached to the characters and world beforehand. A screenshot of a 3D animated cartoon. It shows Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Twitch, and Thrash with the sun rising behind them. Rays of sunlight stream past them and towards the camera. There is a lot of attention given to lighting and atmosphere.

+ You’ll see returning favorites and new characters in equal measure

+ A G1 post-canon story; very G1-inspired characters and designs

+ Often praised for diversity--this show is the source of the franchise’s first nonbinary transformer, and the main human cast are a mixed-race family

+ A nice mix of calmer, family and relationship oriented plotlines with more dramatic and action-based episodes

+ One of the only shows to handle Starscream’s abuse respectfully!! They did a fantastic job with him. Steve Blum reprised his role as Starscream from Transformers: Prime, which is famous for showing intense depictions of Starscream’s abuse without really addressing it well. Many fans see Earthspark as rectifying mistreatment of his character or completing TFP Starscream’s story

+ Features Autobot Megatron. If this is your first Transformers show, be warned that Megatron is usually written differently

 

TRANSFORMERS (G1) - TV show A screenshot of grainy 80s animation depicting two Starscreams seemingly in conversation.

edgy factor: 2/10. yes, it's about a war, but in a very cheesy 80s-cartoon way.

quality of writing: 2/10. you can’t go into this show with high expectations.

personal enjoyment: 4/10. it's fun. i like knowing where these characters began. again, you can’t go into this show with high expectations. it's a glorified toy commercial from the 80s.

+ Full of animation errors, which can be annoying or funny depending on your attitude

+ Optimus Prime is sometimes shockingly cruel??

+ Silly

+ Has its own sort of charm